Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The uberlube is also flammable
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
