are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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