we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
