He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
