We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
