Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
