Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
