: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
