my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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