Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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