it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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