Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've blown a few things in my day
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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