remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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