Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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