I smell stomach acid.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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