well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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