Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
