At least make sure they are 18
Why
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
