'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it hurts more in the daytime
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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