pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize