The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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