Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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