Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
