I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
