You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
