We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
