i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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