what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize