Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
