I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
