is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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