I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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