My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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