1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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