This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
