My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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