it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I looked at my own cervix.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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