i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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