when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
