East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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