The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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