Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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