As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
