no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
