I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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