you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
