evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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