I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
