I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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