when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
