We won't sleep together?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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