I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
How many fucks given?
0.12846
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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