Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
