there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
