I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
