honey bunches of taint.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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