Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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