This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize