I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
