tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
