All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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