i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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