Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
