Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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