I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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