Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
